Day 1 Attempt # 2

Posted 29 August 2016 by Mathew

Well this has been a bit of a roller coaster ride. But usually when I get up in the morning the first thing I think about is hittin my hash oil vape pen. Once, I've done that the door has been opened to keeping the cannabanoid doors open and I'm stoned all day. Sometimes though, I can hold off until the end of the day but then I feel super rushed to get home so that I can smoke. This is causing some issues. By the end of my work day if I don't smoke, I start to lose concentration and all I can think about is going home and getting high. This becomes my primary motivation. I will sometimes go home for "lunch" and have a smoke or will stop by home throughout the day to grab some weed or smoke some. This is obviously a problem because it means that I go out of my way and waste time just for a little weed buzz. Once high my productivity goes way down as my confidence drops a bit with work when I'm high, but hey! I got a buzz on. Anyway, lately I've come to realize that weed doesn't actually benefit me in any way I'd like it too. It just makes me feel like it's doing me well. I've cut down over the past few days and haven't smoked at all today and only 1 puff yesterday. I'm ready!
I have quit before but then picked it back up about a month later. I'm ready again and kind of know what to expect. It's always down the road after a few weeks when I think I'm fine that I'll have a puff then I'm back to smoking daily. Abstinence is really flipping hard to achieve but I'm gathering as much support and journaling and reading past journals when I was successful. Hopefully, I can make this time the last time I need to quit.